New levels of boredom

Now that I am done with school, I need new things to occupy my time. A new favorite is icanhascheezburger.com. Yeah, I'm embarassed. This is my own submission - let me know what you think!

Going for a swim?

This shows how technology cannot always save you from your own bad sense of directions. If you need a laugh and have a minute, do the following:

1. Go to http://maps.google.com
2. Click "Get Directions"
3. In the left box (starting point), type "New York, New York"
4. In the right box (destination), type "London, England"
5. Click "Get Directions"
6. Look at step 23.

Pretty funny, huh?

Why didn't I think of this?

Behold the unholy love-child born from the mating of engineering skills, laziness, free time, and booze. Do you think they sell this at Best Buy?

The REAL Story of First Year Teachers

Now that "Freedom Writers" is getting a lot of press, I'm happy to see that the challenges that teachers face, particularly in urban schools, are getting some attention by the general public. While clearly I am biased, I feel that this profession is the most underappreciated vocation in this country (besides maybe roadkill clean-up crew -- think about how nasty that would be!)

But I feel that I need to give the public a reality check. After reading "The Diary of the Freedom Writers", upon which the movie is based (I haven't seen the movie yet), I have to give my two cents. For starters, I doubt the authenticity of some of the diary entries. What freshman in the 'hood uses vocabulary like "atrocities" and discusses the "pedigogical methods" of their teacher in the Remedial English class? I'm not buying it.

The average person who sees this movie will have the same reaction. They will think, "Wow, teachers really do have a tough job. They work so hard, but they can make a difference!"

But that's not how new teachers will react. The reaction is, Holy shit. I cannot possibly do that. I am already working myself to the point of exhaustion just to keep my head above water, let alone bringing in speakers from foreign countries. Yeah, not gonna happen. So teachers have one of two options. You can be this inspirational teacher with incredible ideas that change the lives of the students in your classroom. But to get this done, you have to work 15 hour days. You have to work two jobs to pay for all the extras, because lord knows you can't pay for it with your teacher salary. If I'm working two jobs, I'm using that money to pay off the horrendous debt that I have acquired getting this degree. Oh, did I mention the fact that you can have no life? Yeah, if you have any relationships outside the classroom, give them up. You will have no friends. The friends you have outside of school will forget you, since you have no time to spend with you. The teachers will hate you, because you're this super gung-ho teacher, and that pisses people off. And if you're married, you'll get divorced. Awesome.

Oh, and did I mention that you actually have to think up these super-exciting and inspirational ideas that will change the lives of youth in the context of a 52-minute class period?

If you don't want that, you can work the basic 10 hour days, still have no money, but a little more of a life, and your kids will be bored as hell and will leave your classroom having gained nothing but the skill of being able to sleep with their eyes open.

Maybe I'm jaded after only 6 months in the trenches, but I am being reasonable. And I am choosing option B. I am claiming my life back, because I am only one person, and there is only so much I can do.

New Methods of Animal Cruelty

I will admit that I have done some cruel things to my pets over time (*cough*knit puppy and kitty sweaters*cough*). But this video goes too far.



My favorite is the write-up on the website, Wiikitty.com.

To the untrained eye, it would seem that this is the diabolical machination of a man who grew up giving the family cat dryer rides. But believe it or not, it’s not only totally safe, but is extremely calming to the animal! As explained by the PetSpa website:

Q: Does the pet Stress out when inside the Cabin?
A: Using our unique technology we are able to lower the stress on pets compared to traditional bathing due to the fact that we do not use a restraining system and there is no stranger restraining or holding the pet. Also our unique patented nozzle system will provide a hydro-massage shower that will relax the pet and increase circulation which is very beneficial.

I’ll bet it improves circulation! Just look at all the exercise that cat’s getting frolicking and bounding about in his soothing pleasure prison!

Q: How do you prevent water from pet’s eyes and ears?
A: The unique design was created by a team of Veterinaries, Animal Behaviorists and engineers looking for the well being of the Pet. There are nozzles in the bottom, top, and all sides but the front side, the pet will look through the safety glass door so no water will go directly in eyes or ears.

The pet will do this, or face dire consequences. Which are, presumably, being placed into a second PetSpa. Also, props to the crack 100-man design team that ruled out firing water from the glass window, you guys are awesome.

I want a pet sloth.....

Ted should know better than to show me videos of cute animals that I don't already have as pets. Watching Rocky started the turtle obsession (if you haven't seen the movies recently, watch them -- you'll understand), and spending time on Cuteoverload.com makes me lust for kittens (but in a non-sexual way, I swear!). Now, thanks to this video, I want a sloth.

Guess what I did at work today?

So while I was at school being told by my students that I'm a bitch and other expletives, my husband was being wooed by Hershey. I took home two folders of papers to grade, he took home 2 huge boxes of chocolate. So, why am I doing this career again?

This is one of his swag items from the presentation.