The REAL Story of First Year Teachers

Now that "Freedom Writers" is getting a lot of press, I'm happy to see that the challenges that teachers face, particularly in urban schools, are getting some attention by the general public. While clearly I am biased, I feel that this profession is the most underappreciated vocation in this country (besides maybe roadkill clean-up crew -- think about how nasty that would be!)

But I feel that I need to give the public a reality check. After reading "The Diary of the Freedom Writers", upon which the movie is based (I haven't seen the movie yet), I have to give my two cents. For starters, I doubt the authenticity of some of the diary entries. What freshman in the 'hood uses vocabulary like "atrocities" and discusses the "pedigogical methods" of their teacher in the Remedial English class? I'm not buying it.

The average person who sees this movie will have the same reaction. They will think, "Wow, teachers really do have a tough job. They work so hard, but they can make a difference!"

But that's not how new teachers will react. The reaction is, Holy shit. I cannot possibly do that. I am already working myself to the point of exhaustion just to keep my head above water, let alone bringing in speakers from foreign countries. Yeah, not gonna happen. So teachers have one of two options. You can be this inspirational teacher with incredible ideas that change the lives of the students in your classroom. But to get this done, you have to work 15 hour days. You have to work two jobs to pay for all the extras, because lord knows you can't pay for it with your teacher salary. If I'm working two jobs, I'm using that money to pay off the horrendous debt that I have acquired getting this degree. Oh, did I mention the fact that you can have no life? Yeah, if you have any relationships outside the classroom, give them up. You will have no friends. The friends you have outside of school will forget you, since you have no time to spend with you. The teachers will hate you, because you're this super gung-ho teacher, and that pisses people off. And if you're married, you'll get divorced. Awesome.

Oh, and did I mention that you actually have to think up these super-exciting and inspirational ideas that will change the lives of youth in the context of a 52-minute class period?

If you don't want that, you can work the basic 10 hour days, still have no money, but a little more of a life, and your kids will be bored as hell and will leave your classroom having gained nothing but the skill of being able to sleep with their eyes open.

Maybe I'm jaded after only 6 months in the trenches, but I am being reasonable. And I am choosing option B. I am claiming my life back, because I am only one person, and there is only so much I can do.

Guess what I did at work today?

So while I was at school being told by my students that I'm a bitch and other expletives, my husband was being wooed by Hershey. I took home two folders of papers to grade, he took home 2 huge boxes of chocolate. So, why am I doing this career again?

This is one of his swag items from the presentation.

The Super Lame Bowl

Now I will admit that I am not the one that tunes in to NFL games to catch the impressive plays made by highly over-paid, over-muscled, under-educated men. However, I did tune in to watch this year's Super Bowl, or, more honestly, the commercials. And as I watch the halftime show, I'm deeply disappointed. I mean, Prince??? What is this, 1994? Although it does beat the Grandma Bowl Halftime Show featuring Paul McCartney. In an attempt to make the American public forget about Nipplegate, the halftime show producers attempted to bore us out of a good part of our memory by playing a former Beatle.... and nothing else, leaving the majority of audience asking their parents, "Who's Paul McCartney?"

And now Prince is up there, playing not even his own music, but COVERS! First Tina Turner, then, get this, Foo Fighters! Is this an attempt to make us forget that even the Super Bowl has gotten desperate and boring? Come on. We don't need violence and sex to be entertained (although it helps). Just be creative. Do something entertaining, something new.

And I won't admit that some sick, deranged part of my mind was hoping that all the pyrotechnics would short out and light Prince's hair on fire, a la Michael Jackson. Is that wrong?

My philosophy on life right now, paraphrased and stolen from Grey's Anatomy

I want moonlight and flowers and candy and people trying to feel me up. Nobody is trying to feel me up. Nobody is even looking at me. I am a grad student. Do you have any idea how much effort it takes to do all this? I’m waxed, and plucked, and have a clean top on. I want heat, I want romance, and dammit I want to feel like a freakin’ lady!

Rare Moments of Humanity

In the midst of all the negatives that I experience every day in the course of my job (encountering homeless people on the way to work, students who are damaged by city life, crime, etc.), it is normal to become somewhat jaded and hardened. It is rare to see things that actually make me smile in the pre-dawn hours as I head to school each day.

Today I had one of those moments. Each day I pass a homeless man sitting by a construction site. Admittedly, I ignore him. I'm rushing to work, and can't be bothered by other people's problems when I am wrapped up in my own. He usually has birds around him, and my fear of the flying critters makes me avoid him even more.

I left a few minutes earlier than usual today (only because I did not even attempt to put in my contacts, as opposed to my usual routine of stabbing myself in the eyes for 15 minutes before I give up and put on my glasses). As I passed the same spot, I noticed the homeless man walking around. He had a large bag of bird food, and was putting it out for the pigeons.

I smiled bigger than I have in days.

I could analyze this for hours, but I just wanted to put this out there as a sign that good does still exist in the midst of the hard city life, and we should never forget this in our daily struggles.

I promise my next post will be lighter :-)

Descent into madness

So if anyone actually still reads this blog, they will notice that I have not posted in a long time. Frankly, I am only posting now because I am bored in a class and need something to do. To put my mental state simply, it has shut down. There is nothing left. I got very confused by the northbound-southbound concept on the subway today. I put soup on the stove and totally forgot about it until it completely boiled away to a funky tomato paste and some congealed rice. And to make it all better, this week I will be getting a pack of 32 exams and 32 projects to grade. Rock. I love being a teacher. Any encouragement would be great.... As if anyone actually reads this.... Sigh.....

Summer Session -- Trial by Fire

I have survived my first week and a half at an Ivy League institution -- barely. The program is a firm believer in "trial by fire" -- or more appropriately, trial by reading. Lots of it. 150 pages or more each night. So while I do get to enjoy two days each week with classes starting at 1 p.m. (JOY! SLEEPING IN!), I toil into the wee hours that I haven't seen on a weeknight since second year of undergrad. So why am I spending my valuable writing time posting on my blog? Simply put, it beats reading.

Another finger of the fire is our field work at Nonprofit Techonogy Resources. Working with these six student interns is, simply put, amazing. They have skills I couldn't imagine. I hope that I can contribute something to their lives in the short time that I am here.