A Newcomer's Guide to SEPTA

A major problem in any urban area is going to be traffic congestion. After living in Baltimore for three years, I have learned to anticipate and, at times, almost appreciate the whims of the beltway and JFX traffic. But moving to a new metropolitan area, getting around was giving me (almost) as much angst as the lovely souls over at the Penn Student Financial Services office (*incomprehensible mutterings*).

Then, a breath of fresh air -- SEPTA! Yes, the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transit Authority to the rescue. And, unlike the Baltimore public transit system, SEPTA seems to: 1) be efficient, 2) be safe, and 3) actually go places that you'd want to be. Novel concept!

What I hope to do is create a type of guide (in the loosest sense of the term) to using SEPTA for those who, like me, are relatively new to the whole public transit system. The rules are numbered, but, because I am writing them as I come up with them, are therefore in no particular order. Because numbering sequentially implies some sort of ranking of importance, I am going to refrain from that practice and simply make numbers up as I go along. Can you tell that I'm going to be a teacher?

Rule #47: Learn to Forget Geographic Directions
I'm amazed anyone in Philadelphia knows North-South-East-West. You will rarely get on a train, subway, or bus and find that it is simply going east, north, or even southeast. It's going to some obscure (at least to me) destination that no one really ever wants to go to anyway. So I have to spend a good 10 minutes staring at a map (hello, not from here!) trying to first figure out where the hell I am and then where the hell I'm going. Once that is figured out, getting on the proper transportation mode is often a matter of luck. Thank god for my transpass, where I can get on and off the bus as much as necessary while I figure out what the hell I'm doing.

Rule #84: Station Names Have Little to Do With Their Location

Example: Suburban Station. Name connotes location with grass, trees, etc. Real location? Middle of the freakin' city.

Example: Market East - Gallery. Actually a transfer point for other transit lines. But the other lines don't call it that, they call it 15th Street. So I miss it every time. Bastards.

Give me landmarks, intersections, something! My brain already hurts with this....

More to come later!